A “Must” New Year’s Resolution-Forgiveness

As we start a new year, our rearview mirror can sometimes be our worst enemy. Most of us have an innate tendency to dwell on negative things in the past. Many of those things are a direct result of being hurt by someone else. Those hurts are bumps in our life journey that really jarred us as we went over them. These bumps can become mountains if we continue to look in our rear-view mirror.

We’re all guilty of offending other people, and we’ve all been offended by other people; those are the facts of living in a sinful world. But as Christians we’re told to be forgiving people. It’s impossible to live a victorious Christian life with unforgiveness in our life. It isn’t the offense that destroys relationships, it’s the inability to forgive that destroys relationships.

Unforgiveness is usually a result of ungodly pride and self-righteousness. Unforgiveness is often the sin that’s committed against those we’re the closest to and dearest to us. There are the sayings “Familiarity breeds contempt.” and “Why do we always hurt the ones we love?” Unforgiveness is often a family sin. Husbands won’t forgive their wives; wives won’t forgive their husbands; children won’t forgive their parents and parents won’t forgive their children. Unforgiveness among fellow believers is, sadly, common.

Unforgiveness is a sin that locks the unforgiving person in their own self-made prison.  “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” Lewis B. Smedes, Christian author and theologian

It’s as bad as being enslaved to mind-altering drugs or alcoholism. Unforgiveness is a sin that will destroy its own container. Unforgiveness is a sin that will destroy you like an incurable cancer. People often say: “I don’t get mad; I get even.” People mistakenly believe that their bitterness and refusal to forgive will make the other person suffer. But it’s the unforgiving person that suffers!

Unforgiveness is the poison that you drink hoping the other person dies. (similar quote by several different people and Christian organizations)

Living a lifestyle of forgiveness is commanded for Christians.

Jesus said in Mark 11:25-26, “Whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses”. This isn’t about our eternal salvation, that’s secure when we put our faith in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. This is about our being blessed or disciplined by God (Hebrews 12:7-11).

Matthew 18:21-22 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven.”

Ephesians 4:31-32 “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

Colossians 3:13 “Forgive as the Lord forgave you”.

Neil T. Anderson in his book, “The Bondage Breaker”, said, “Forgiveness is agreeing to live with the consequences of another person’s sin. Forgiveness is costly; we pay the price of the evil we forgive. Yet you’re going to live with those consequences whether you want to or not; your only choice is whether you will live in the bitterness of unforgiveness or the freedom of forgiveness. That’s how Jesus forgave you—He took the consequences of your sin upon Himself. All true forgiveness is substitutional because no one really forgives without bearing the penalty of the other person’s sin.” Forgiveness is extending mercy to those who have harmed us.

Is there anyone that you should forgive today?