Focusing on Faults
Charlie Brown in the Peanuts comic strip made this dramatic statement, “I just love all mankind; it is the human beings that I can’t stand.” We have all had similar thinking. Human beings are not perfect and there is a tendency to focus on their faults. When we focus on the faults of others, we miss the opportunity to truly understand and appreciate them. It’s like looking at a beautiful painting and fixating only on the tiny smudge in the corner. My younger son humorously relayed to his wife early in their marriage that he was 98% awesome and for her to please have grace on the 2%. Even though the percentages may be questionable, she has become a role model at focusing on the strengths of her spouse.
Our tendency to focus on faults rather than strengths can be attributed to several psychological factors. Here are a few reasons:
Negativity Bias: Humans have an inherent negativity bias, which means we pay more attention to negative information. When the first created human sinned, he corrupted the entire human race. Each of us has inherited from him an inherent tendency to sin, which includes a natural inclination towards mistaken, negative judgments. This inclination is revealed throughout the Bible.
Social Comparison: We often compare ourselves to others. When we see someone else’s faults, it can make us feel better about our own imperfections. This comparison can lead to a focus on what’s wrong rather than what’s right.
Cultural and Media Influence: Media, including news and social media, tends to highlight negative events and flaws. This constant exposure reinforces the idea that faults are more prevalent and significant.
Fault finding is like the frog who lived in a well. It could only focus on what it could see from the bottom of the well, which was most of the times dark and gloomy. All its thoughts and emotions were formed by this narrow view. When the frog escaped the well, there was a beautiful world that it did not know existed which allowed a new and stronger focus on the true beauty of the whole.
Focusing on the Positive
Focusing on the positive and uplifting aspects of life provides the best and essential view. The Bible offers some wonderful verses that encourage us to shift our gaze toward goodness and away from the narrow view of faults. Let’s explore a few of them:
Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
This verse reminds us to dwell on thoughts that are honorable, beautiful, and worthy of praise. Instead of fixating on faults, we’re encouraged to focus on what is good and uplifting.
Colossians 3:2 “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” Here, the emphasis is on eternal values. By directing our thoughts toward heavenly things, we can rise above earthly concerns and find greater peace.
Philippians 2: 3-5 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus…”
Exactly what is the mindset of Jesus? In Matthew 22:35-40 When asked, “What is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus answers that there are 2 commandments that summarize all the law and prophets. These are the two that form the basis for all our relationships. The first is to love God with all your heart, soul, and mind and the second is to love your neighbor as yourself. These two focus on the essence of the entire character of God-LOVE. God is love (1 John 4:16)
“What is love?” God answers this in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
Focusing on faults is the pathway that leads away from love and many times ends up in broken relationships. Focusing on the positive is one built on love for others. It involves esteeming others more important than yourself. One of the basics of love is not so much emotion as it is “focused attention” on the positives of our loved ones.
William Blake was an English poet who summed it up very well.
“Love to faults is always blind, always is to joy inclined. Lawless, winged, and unconfined, and breaks all chains from every mind.”
